Relationship Advice For Men: Married Life

There is likely no committed relationship that is as intimate and all-encompassing as marriage.  The messaging about marriage is abundant; some of it is helpful, but some of it could undermine your marriage if you take it to heart. As with other areas of life, there’s a need for discernment to sift the messages and take in only what’s helpful.

Some Challenges That Come with Married Life

You may be on the cusp of getting married, or maybe the thought hasn’t even entered your mind yet. Perhaps you’ve been married for years now. It’s always good to take a look at your own preconceptions and experiences of marriage, because married life has many layers to it. Some of those layers are joyful and beautiful, but others are challenging.

Being married means that you’re doing life with a partner. This can be challenging if you’re used to flying solo and not needing to consult anyone before deciding something. In marriage, because you share a home, resources, and yourself with another person, decisions need to be discussed. Sometimes what you want doesn’t happen. Compromises need to be made, and you don’t always get your way.

Another difficult facet of marriage is that because you’re living with another person who was raised by a different set of parents. Undoubtedly, when they don’t do things the way you do, friction can arise. You may not always agree on what the ‘right way’ to do something is. That can cause conflict, especially if both of you feel strongly enough about it. Issues such as how to handle money, do chores, or parent are often contentious.

As a result, the reality of your differences may require growth in communicating your needs and expectations. Marriage, and indeed any serious relationship, sets the challenge for you to become better at communicating and resolving problems. You may need to come to grips with your own conflict style and learn how to face and address issues in a way that honors your spouse and your relationship.

These are just a few of the challenges that come with married life. They largely stem from the fact that interpersonal relationships and interactions are complicated, and it’s to be expected that a relationship as intimate as marriage will also be complicated. However, there’s more to marriage than just these challenges.

The Benefits and Joys of Marriage

Just as there are challenges in any marriage, there will also be joy and beauty, too. We are built for relationship with others. Marriage provides an opportunity to deepen love and connection with another person. This is the person with whom you can share experiences and adventures as you explore new things and places, creating memories that will last a lifetime. Together, you can raise a family and build a legacy.

Marriage also includes having a partner who is an emotional support and encouragement. Life can get rough. Being with someone who has your back and supports and encourages you, can make a significant difference in your life. Partnership and teamwork help to strengthen you in the places where you are weak, making you into a better person.

For a marriage to flourish, the people in it need to commit to personal growth and development. A couple can commit themselves to encouraging and supporting each other’s personal growth and self-improvement. You aspire both be better people compared to when you began the journey together. Marriage, in other words, can nurture your development towards meaningful personal growth.

A marriage can be a safe place in which you can share laughter and find happiness in everyday moments. When a person feels secure and grounded in their relationship, that allows them to have a deeper sense of belonging. When you’re not anxious about your relationship and where you stand, you can be freed up to be the best version of yourself in other areas of your life.

Lastly, not only does marriage allow you to enjoy social support and recognition, but there are also legal and financial benefits that can be enjoyed. Those include things such as sharing health insurance, getting certain tax breaks, and being able to pool your financial resources to do more together than you would be capable of by yourself.

Help for the Journey

Married life has its ins and outs, its challenges, as well as its benefits and joys. Each marriage is unique, which means it will face its own sets of issues and have particular resources with which to address them. A healthy marriage is a blessing, and it can weather many storms.

If you feel like you could use some help to grow your marriage or resolve individual issues, please reach out to our offices today. We can offer an appointment with a couple’s or individual counselor. They are eager to help you improve your communication, your ability to problems solve, and cultivate a deeper appreciation of each other.