Articles
Tips for Dealing with Financial Problems During the Holidays and Beyond
The holiday season often brings warmth, community, and celebration, but it can also create more financial pressure. Between gift-giving, travel, food costs, and social expectations, money can quickly become a source of stress instead of joy. Holiday spending can be tied to deeper emotional patterns, family expectations, and even a desire to prove worth or create the “perfect” Christmas. Let’s face it, most people struggle with finances at some point in their lives. If you are dealing with financial problems, then you know the anguish that can come from financial instability. Staying up at night worrying about your financial future can [...]
How Being a People Pleaser Can Invite Toxic Friendships
Being agreeable sounds like a good thing, right? In fact, as a child, you were probably told to “just get along” with your siblings or to “just go with the flow” during family vacation. Being agreeable can be a good thing and often appears to be humility and love, but for people pleasers, the motive isn’t love at all; it’s fear. People pleasers don’t want to upset anyone, so they say “yes” to everything. They go along with the group plans even when they are uncomfortable. They apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong. Underneath all those yeses and sorries is [...]
No Shame On You
One day, my then-thirteen-year-old daughter and I were playing around. She did something, and I jokingly said, “Shame on you!!” But something in my spirit quickened, and I said, “No! No shame on you! No shame in any of us once we have accepted Christ! Our shame is under the blood!”Many people, even many Christians, deal with guilt and shame. What’s the difference between guilt and shame? I like the way Sheila Walsh explains it in her book 5 Minutes with Jesus: Making Today Matter, “Guilt tells us that we’ve done something wrong; shame tells us that we are something wrong” (p. [...]
Forgiving Others: Why It’s Important to Our Health
People struggle with the concept of forgiveness. The human question, “Why should I even bother to forgive?” is prevalent in our society, and it’s a difficult one. When Jesus told his disciples to forgive 70x7 times, he was commanding them to go against their instinct to hold a grudge. It’s easier to stay angry than it is to forgive, but it’s not better for us. What happens when we forgive? When we forgive, we let go of the resentment or desire for revenge, even though the hurt may remain. Physically, our brain feels more empathy, compassion, and understanding. The amygdala, which [...]
When Anger Leaves a Trail: Steps Toward Confession, Healing, and Empowerment
Many people think Christians never get angry, or if they become angry, they shouldn’t stay angry. Anger is a strong response to something displeasing. Jesus says, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33), meaning there will be struggles during our life’s path. God also says that vengeance belongs to Him (Romans 12:19). God takes on the actionable part of anger because He knows the spiritual, emotional, and physical costs associated with anger. Responses vary depending on the situation and the person, but it’s natural to have some type of response when [...]
Finding Support for Depression in Aging Women
The idea of eternal youth is a wildly popular narrative in fictional stories and legends. The legend of the Fountain of Youth, for example, was famously sought out by the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon. He risked his life looking for a magical spring whose waters could restore youth and vitality to all who would drink it. In Tuck Everlasting, the fountain of youth is such a coveted secret that it creates all types of chaos. Why are stories like these popular? On some level, most people wish they could retain their youthful energy and good looks forever. The beauty [...]
Key Symptoms of Codependency to Be Aware of
How would you respond if a friend were to ask you, “How are your relationships going these days?”? Your relationships may be going amazingly well, meeting your needs and expectations, while also providing you with opportunities to serve others effectively. Healthy and fulfilling relationships such as these are enriching, and they can contribute to an overall sense of well-being. On the other hand, you might be feeling stuck, struggling to make sense of the state of your relationships, or the conflicts and other challenges you are facing. Relationships that are not in a good space inevitably affect whether you feel okay [...]
Pursuing Healing and Recovery from Codependent Behavior
The health of your relationships plays a large role in your well-being. We are relational and social beings, created to love God and others. We are most human when we are in nurturing relationships with others who help bring out our God-given potential, and when we do the same for them. Healthy relationships give us accountability, stability, and support during troubled times, as well as an environment to flourish in. If relationships are that influential, it makes sense that when they go awry, the negative impact needs to be felt deeply and in a variety of ways. Broken or unhealthy relationships [...]
Death Anxiety: What is Thanatophobia?
It is no secret that death is inevitable. We will all face death. But for some people, there is a fear of death that can cause anxiety. For these people, the thought of death is distressing and consuming. This death anxiety is also known as thanatophobia. This type of anxiety can also lead to issues with mental health and daily functioning. Some people may fear the dying process as well as dying. It is important to note that thanatophobia is not the same as necrophobia, which is the fear of dead or dying people or things. “Do not let your hearts [...]