Identifying Symptoms of Depression in Children and Ways You Can Help

Depression is not just an adult concern. Children can struggle with it often when they are too young to understand or express what they are feeling. It may sometimes be tricky to detect it because symptoms of depression in children tend to manifest differently than they do in adults. Children, for instance, may act irritable or grumpy, more so than sad, as an adult would.

Identifying Symptoms of Depression in Children

Because children often express their depression differently than do adults, it can be difficult to recognize and easy to miss. Kids sometimes do not know how to communicate what they are feeling and react to their depression by throwing a tantrum. They may not show a more typically associated symptom, and their negative behavior is misinterpreted as a sign of anger or aggression rather than what it is.

The following are some common symptoms of depression in children. They do not automatically mean your child is depressed, but they are possible red flags that should not be ignored. If your child has experienced several of them for at least two weeks, it would be wise to have him or her screened by his or her pediatrician to verify whether it is depression or whether the symptoms are due to something else.

Physical symptoms: Physical symptoms of depression in children can be subtle and easily misinterpreted. The most common ones are:

• frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained aches and pains
• low energy
• feeling tired all the time
• loss of appetite or nonstop hunger
• insomnia, trouble falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much
• restlessness or trouble concentrating

Emotional symptoms: Emotional symptoms of depression in children include:

• fluctuating moods
• feeling sad or hopeless for no apparent reason
• sulking
• apathy
• lack of motivation
• frequent complaints of being bored
• increased irritability
• anger
• extreme sensitivity to criticism or perceived failure

Cognitive symptoms: Cognitive symptoms of depression in children can be harder to notice. Examples of these can be:

• negative self-talk
• self-doubt
• belief that no one likes them
• a distorted view of self
• being excessively critical of their looks, intelligence, competence, and self-worth
• reduced attention span
• slowed thinking
• trouble paying attention or staying focused on what they are doing
• indecisiveness
• low self-esteem
• thoughts of death or suicide

Behavioral symptoms: Behavioral symptoms of depression in children are often noticeable, but dismissed or attributed to other issues. Things to look for include:

• angry outbursts
• tantrums
• irritability
• being argumentative, disrespectful, and hostile toward family members
• misbehaving at home and school
• talking about, or running away from home
• isolating
• talking less, making less eye contact, and pulling away from friends and loved ones
• loss of interest in favorite activities
• decline in academic performance
• sudden drop in grades
• not wanting to go to school
• homework left undone
• not wanting to do fun things
• self-harm
• talking about wanting to die
• giving away favorite possessions

Steps You Can Take to Help Your Child

Listen to your child

A child who feels depressed is not making up his or her symptoms. Take their concerns seriously and be a safe refuge your child can turn to for reassurance and validation. Ask reflective questions, encourage them to share their feelings openly, and listen intently without judgment or interruption. Try to see things from their perspective and understand where they come from.

Validate your child

Help your child separate from their symptoms by reminding them that depression is an illness, and not an accurate portrayal of reality. Validate them by encouraging them to focus on the great person they are behind the dark clouds.

Help your child see things from a more positive perspective

Help your child challenge negative self-talk, focus on their strengths, and see things from a more realistic, positive perspective.

Make your home a safe place

Studies have shown childhood depression to be associated with a high risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Take extra steps to make your home a safe place by removing or safely storing weapons, drugs, alcohol, and harmful chemicals.

Teach your child to make self-care a priority

Help your child establish healthy habits that support physical, mental, and emotional well-being, such as getting adequate sleep; eating a balanced, nutritious diet; staying hydrated; and engaging in a form of regular exercise.

Encourage your child to spend time outdoors

Studies show that spending time in nature has a positive impact on mental health. Encourage your child to play outside, take walks, or engage in other outdoor activities together.

Help your child practice self-calming techniques

Help your child practice self-calming techniques such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, and using a calm-down box. A calm-down box is a container filled with a personalized mix of sensory items, comforting objects, and calming activities to help your child ground themself and manage stress and strong emotions before they have a chance to escalate.

Some examples would be stress balls, fidget toys, a soft blanket, a favorite book or stuffed animal, a coloring book and crayons, noise-canceling headphones, or pictures of loved ones.

Restrict screen time

Screen time should be restricted for children suffering from depression because it can make symptoms worse. Excessive use has been associated with disrupted sleep, a distorted concept of reality, negative comparisons leading to body image concerns, and exposure to cyberbullying. Establish device-free periods, such as no screens at the table, and keep devices out of the bedroom at night.

Be willing to consider medication

If your child is diagnosed with major depressive disorder, be willing to consider medication. While faith and prayer are both important, using an antidepressant to help normalize neurotransmitter function is not a sign of spiritual weakness or compromise.

Consider counseling

Counseling can help your child recognize and give voice to his or her feelings. They can also learn how to change negative thinking patterns to more positive, realistic ones and develop ways of coping with complex emotions.

Gospel Truths to Use as Talking Points with Your Child

Depression is common Let your child know that depression is a common human experience. Tell your child about the many people in the Bible, like Elijah, Moses, King David, and Job, who also experienced it.

Let your child understand that God has given us words with which to express our sorrow However, your child who is struggling with depression may have trouble expressing the way they feel and struggle to find the right words. You can help give them a language with which to voice their pain by reading the psalms of lament with them (Psalms 13, 77, 88), which contain many examples of words they can use.

Your child also needs to know that Jesus knows what we are going through and is always with us Remind your child about the fact that Jesus knows how they feel because when He took on human flesh, He too experienced all the human trials and temptations that we do. He too endured great sorrow and grief, and promises to always be with us when we are feeling sad or depressed.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV

If childhood depression is a topic of concern in your family, I will be glad to offer support in a faith-based counseling process.