Burden or Blessing: Navigating Challenges in Relationships

Although we can see the value in forming relationships, sometimes abiding in them can feel burdensome. When we share a part of our hearts and our lives with people, we may get hurt. While we don’t search for harm, part of maturing in faith and life includes awareness that conflicts will surface in the healthiest of relationships.

Faith, however, is demonstrated in preparing for and stewarding relationship challenges as opportunities to encounter undiscovered facets of God, others, and ourselves. Relationships can be one of the greatest blessings of our lives, despite potential challenges. These challenges don’t mean we should avoid connection with others, but rather seek God’s design and guidance concerning how to engage with those that Scripture calls our neighbors.

The Bible’s heavenly blueprint gives earthly guidance for such practical and spiritual matters. In it, we look to Jesus’ example. He modeled how to live our passion for God, extend compassion to others, and care for ourselves.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” – Matthew 22:37-40, NIV

If Jesus loved His Father, honored people, and held a healthy regard for Himself and His assignment, then we can, too. His power, personified in the Holy Spirit, enables and equips us to steward our relationships well. We watch Jesus’ response to this when a scribe sought to test Him concerning the most important commandment.

The lawyer came to the Messiah with preconceptions about Jesus’ response, knowing that his works and performance justified him according to the law (Luke 10:29). However, he discovered that the Savior was more concerned with him exhibiting the quality of a heart that loves neighbors more than visibly observing rituals and burnt offerings. Our relationships reveal what only God can see in our hearts as His Word and Spirit prove thoughts and weigh motives (Psalm 139:23-24; Hebrews 4:12).

The man’s heart reveals similarities with our own: the flesh nature in humanity wants recognition and relationship. It will cost us authenticity as we present our hearts to the Lord and invite His help to act on what He reveals. It isn’t a judgment to send us scurrying into shame, but rather an observation that will help us to be honest with ourselves, so we can assess and invest in our connections with God, others, and ourselves.

Our behavior often reflects our internal condition, but that isn’t to condemn but to lead us to confess and repent, returning joyfully to the Lord (Romans 8:1; 1 John 1:9). When our hearts are contrite, we can be shaped by our loving Father who helps and corrects when we wander off course (Hebrews 12:7-12).

Passion for God

In living and dying to His comfort and convenience, Jesus surrendered His life, a complete sacrifice and expression of love for His Father and us. He didn’t do it out of obligation but rather embraced the opportunity to restore what was lost in Eden.

The man who asked Jesus about eternal life appeared to believe that God was more interested in a list of “thou-shalt-nots,” but Jesus offered the scribe more than what he expected.

When Jesus summarized the ten commandments, He distilled them into how we love from the heart: directed toward God and extended toward others. As we receive and release the Father’s love, we follow the example of God Himself, demonstrating authenticity and investment in our relationships, always leading with love.

If we think of Jesus’ admonition in a visual manner, we can imagine loving God with all that we are and all that we have as a vertical relationship. That means that we spend time devoting ourselves to cultivating the most significant relationship we will ever have. Just as we nurture time with friends and loved ones through listening and talking, we do the same with the Lord with abandonment and surrender.

Jesus described Himself as the stairway between Heaven and Earth, depicting Himself as the connector to reconcile humanity with the Father. His shed Blood not only redeems the gap between God and produces eternal gains but restores those that believe in God’s original intent for everlasting fellowship. 

Compassion for Others

While we may be loved by our connections, there is none that loves greater than our Savior. He surrendered His life for ours to reclaim intimate fellowship. We embody His love when we put it into practice, and do as the Word instructs. It calls us to forgive, honor, and serve in all seasons, rejoicing in joyful moments and weeping with one another in tragedy. Relationships can get sticky, and offenses will come on occasion. Our response to one another reveals our character and provides opportunity to practice as the Holy Spirit forms Christ within.

Invariably, we will notice differences between ourselves and others. Sometimes those distinctions can present discomfort, but we can view them as a way to enrich our lives and stretch beyond the limitations of our own experience and perspective. People we love may think things that shock us, say things that offend us, or do things to hurt us. We likely do the same, but realizing this will help us to convey mercy and rely on divine wisdom in how we entreat one another.

Jesus isn’t expecting perfect behavior in our relationships, but rather to continually present ourselves to be perfected, or whole and mature, by the Holy Spirit. There are times when we must revisit conversations and actions, repenting for misguided thoughts and conditions of our hearts. This is how we not only continue investing in our vertical relationship with Him but also exhibit abiding love through lateral connections with others.

When we seek the King and His Kingdom, He infuses our words and actions with grace and compassion. We may stumble and make errors, but the grace of God abundantly furnishes us to do what seems impossible.

Care for Ourselves

God doesn’t exclude us from the equation when noting that we are to love God and others (Mark 12:28-34; Luke 10:25-37). While this verse is often quoted in faith circles, we have not always paid attention to one of its implicit conditions. “As you love yourself” gently alerts us that we can’t love anyone well if we have nothing to draw from our internal reserve.

God fully intends for us to receive the abundance of His love and care. When we esteem ourselves as He does, we are agreeing with the Truth of the Gospel.

For our lives to testify of the good news, we must receive it for ourselves. Many times, people will detect evidence of the testimony of Jesus Christ before they hear our words. When we operate in love, we not only reveal who we are but also Whose we are.

Having a proper view of ourselves as beloved sons and daughters of God conveys confidence and security in what is eternal, and therefore, unshakable. This isn’t arrogance or pride, but rather an awareness that all our God-identity, the good works that flow through us, and the spiritual and natural gifts we may possess are all derived from the One to Whom we belong.

Next Steps

Wherever you are in your experience with God and others, remember that the Lord wants to meet you where you are. Relationships can present what appear to be burdens, but also enrich your life with blessings. How you approach them can help you to embrace all that God has intended as you remain passionately devoted to Him, compassionately come alongside others, and in caring for yourself.

Notice where you need support and schedule an appointment with a counselor on this site. You will find the courage to navigate challenges in relationships and receive the blessings that they offer.