Recognizing Good and Bad Signs of Anger Issues

In a world of sin and greed, we often find ourselves frustrated. The Christian recognizes that no matter how righteous, anger is never pure and innocent since it is always mingled with sin. In addition, what someone does with that anger can lead them to a dark place. This is why recognizing signs of anger issues is so crucial.

If you were asked to list some bad signs of anger issues, you could probably rattle off a long list of well-known indicators that you’ve been conditioned to look out for. Perhaps you immediately envisioned that one person in your neighborhood growing up that everyone was terrified of.

Maybe you’re imagining some big, buff, menacing-looking bully whose face was always beet red, with clenched fists always ready to throw a punch and a plethora of mean expletives coming out of his mouth. While these are clear signs of anger issues in a person, today we’ll examine some other aspects of this contentious emotion so that you can determine where you stand on the anger spectrum.

It can be easy to identify anger in another person, but the greater challenge is confronting your own inner struggles with anger honestly and constructively. Learning how to recognize, express, and cope with our anger can make a huge difference to your mental health.

One of the reasons anger is such a difficult feeling to control is simply because it is the most misunderstood of all human emotions. People may view anger as a decision or showing of character, but there is a big chemical aspect to these feelings.

Common Misconceptions About Anger

To learn how to grow from this, we need to understand what is truly happening when tempers start to rise. The first step toward understanding when, how, and why anger affects you is to dispel some long-held myths about anger.

Anger is not an action

Anger is a common emotion that happens when your brain tells your body that something is not right. Scientifically, it is described as a threat-activated neurophysiological arousal response occurring when a threat triggers the brain to send a high alert signal to the rest of your body.

Consequently, a series of brain and body events leads your body to produce adrenaline and cortisol, increasing your heart rate, tensing muscles, and heightening your attention as a warning that is meant to trigger your natural fight or flight response (this is why taking a deep breath and/or taking time to do deep stretches can work well to alleviate anger).

Anger is not a behavior

Anger is not the same as aggression, hostility, or violence. The crucial difference between anger and aggression is a huge factor in discouraging anger from being used as an excuse for certain actions. Acting aggressively is not part of the definition of anger because anger describes how you feel, while violence or aggression is what you do.

When you recognize that, it becomes easier to isolate the behavior of aggression and realize that the two are not mutually dependent. There are many cases of people who have hurt, tortured, and abused others without exhibiting any signs of anger issues at all or without needing to be angry at their victim.

Anger is not always a bad thing

Anger can be either good or bad, depending on several factors, such as its cause, its degree, its object, or whether or not it is justified. While expressing anger is not always appropriate and even when done must be done carefully, avoiding your anger may also cause you in the long run. Suppressed anger is associated with many stress-induced ailments, such as hypertension, and can increase suicidal or self-harm tendencies.

Ironically, this all means that the key to controlling your anger is accepting that it is a part of you that must be felt at times and that being angry can sometimes be good for you, but that it is always accompanied by sin.

Recognizing Good Signs of Anger in Yourself

Anger can be useful to you in certain situations, for instance:

When anger helps you identify problems

If things are out of place or need to improve, you can get angry, which in turn motivates you to do something and find a solution to that problem. Anger, in this case, prepares you to deal with the barriers in your way and pushes you to get to where you want to be.

Even in the Bible, God has displayed anger and it states in Proverbs 6 that “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”

When anger helps you to assert your value

In any relationship, constructive expression of anger is healthy and necessary to show you and the other person what you’re willing to accept and what you’re not. In other words, when you get upset at something the other person has done, sometimes allowing yourself to accept that you are angry facilitates greater cooperation and harmony.

What is harmful is pretending that you’re not feeling angry or ignoring the reason that caused it. Remember, if anger is justified, expressed constructively, and the response is appropriate, then misunderstandings and conflicts are resolved more honestly.

When anger helps you challenge injustice or discrimination

If something happens in your society that triggers anger, it can serve as a guidance system for those who don’t want to be treated unjustly or unfairly. Anger can push you to communicate to others that you will not stand by and be mistreated.

On a global level, this type of anger can bring about positive change, increase the social cost of misbehaving, and motivate us to help others who are being treated badly.

When anger helps protect us from things that are hurting us

Scientific research posits that anger has played an important role in ensuring our survival. That primal fight-versus-flight response is rooted in anger. This means if our safety is at risk or we are attacked, anger automatically drives us to defend ourselves instinctively in dangerous situations by giving us a burst of energy in response to threats.

Recognizing Bad Signs of Anger in Yourself

One important thing to remember is that anger can also be sinful. Your anger is sinful:

• When it is unjustified. Anger that has no appropriate cause is always sinful.
• When it is directed at the wrong object.
• When it is out of control.
• When your anger is disproportionate to its cause.
• When your anger consistently causes you to hurt, frighten, or upset the people around you.
• When your anger makes you unable to perform normal daily activities while you brood and reflect on the same angering thoughts.
• When your anger blocks your ability to feel other emotions like empathy or happiness and becomes your go-to emotion.
• When your anger causes you to black out and not remember things you do or say while gripped by anger.
• When your anger drives you to use mind-numbing substances like drugs or alcohol.

Anger is probably the most powerful and dangerous emotion, which means that it takes a lot to learn how to manage it. Even though managing anger is not easy, there are tried and tested methods of making sure that you maintain that healthy balance between embracing your anger and letting it rule you.

Ways to Keep Your Anger in Check

When you feel angry, try to figure out why first

The same thing can happen to two people, yet only one gets angry. This means that sometimes when you get angry, something within you takes offense. Think about why you got angry and if that situation is really worth giving up your peace and well-being.

When you feel angry, do not act immediately

Even if you are justified and have been treated wrongly, reacting in an equally wrong way will only escalate your situation, and someone or everyone may end up getting hurt.

It is always a good idea to pause and try to collect yourself until you have fully thought out your next words or actions before you react. Usually, you will find that when you take a step back from the situation and let yourself and your emotions cool down, you will have a clearer perspective. This is not an easy task, but you will be grateful in hindsight when you do this, and I am sure we have all seen the consequences when we act irrationally out of anger.

When you’re angry, check your behavior toward others

Remember to only act on good reasons to get angry that motivate you to make some positive changes. If your anger makes you feel like hurting or harming another person, then it is not a good kind of anger. You don’t have to hide your feelings, but also make sure you’re using your words in a way that is respectful and factual rather than unkind, controlling, aggressive, or violent.

Getting Help

The ability to figure out whether you are having good or bad signs of anger issues in yourself cannot be overemphasized. The only person you have control over is yourself, so talk to someone who can help you manage anger in your body, treat your emotions with understanding, and express your needs in safe and respectful ways.

Find out more by speaking to an anger management therapist. Contact our office today at Seattle Christian Counseling to arrange your initial appointment with me or another Christian counselor in the Seattle area.