Articles
How to Know When You’re in an Abusive Relationship
Even the healthiest of relationships sometimes goes through times of struggle and disconnect. Life circumstances, differing expectations, personality clashes, and countless other factors can all contribute to friction in any relationship. However, there is a vast difference between a relationship that is suffering from the natural bumps and rough patches that life brings and an abusive relationship. To describe a relationship as “abusive” may conjure any number of scenarios, and it can be scary and confusing to acknowledge the potentially abusive aspects of a personal relationship – even when the “red flags” seem to be staring us in the face. An [...]
Effects of Trauma, and Why Healing is Worth the Effort
Trauma, by its broadest definition, is everywhere. In various segments on the nightly news, in one Bible story after another, and the lives of our closest friends and family – stories of trauma abound. I would argue that every person will experience trauma, to some extent, in their lifetime, and many experience layers of it. Trauma is inevitable, and the effects of trauma can be both numerous and powerful. Healing from trauma is never a simple task, and yet, when we take the steps to become more aware of how we have been impacted by our own experiences of trauma, it [...]
Becoming One: How to Communicate for Sustained Connection
Love in springtime. The thought of it inspires us. When romance is in the air one might believe that everything is possible! Consequently, weddings are most popular in the spring, summer, and fall. If you are planning to attend a wedding this season, you will most likely hear one version or another of Christian wedding vows. Take these two verses from the Bible for example: For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24 Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate. [...]
Understanding Vicarious Trauma
Emotionally intelligent people can express empathy, the ability to step into another person’s shoes, seeing and feeling things from their perspective. Empathy allows us to be better listeners and people, but it can also cause distress. The world is filled with pain, and it feels never-ending; seeing that pain firsthand, or being exposed to a constant stream of stories about trauma can be distressing and cause trauma of its own. What is vicarious trauma? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), trauma is the emotional response a person can have to an event such as a natural disaster, accident, or violence [...]
Overcoming Shame with God’s Word
Shame is one of the most difficult emotions that can affect you. It is hard to spot on your own, yet it can pervade through almost every area of your life. Overcoming shame is difficult to do. Yet by meditating on Bible verses about shame, you can walk toward the light of healing that God provides. Bible verses on shame can help you choose hope and faith instead of the heaviness shame brings. God sees your shame and wants you to be free from it. He will walk through the valleys with you to help you overcome them. When you read [...]
Spiritual Practices to Help You Cope with PTSD
“PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions.” – Susan Pease Banitt Individuals who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) live with invisible suffering every single day. They look just like anyone else, act like anyone else, and are expected to function in the world like anyone else. Yet they are carrying heavy trauma and deep sorrow. Our hearts go out to those dealing with PTSD. You find yourself in a world that expects everything to be “okay” and doesn’t know what to do with people for whom life is not ok. Our culture [...]
Group Counseling: How to Know it Might Be Helpful, What to Expect, and Terms to Know
"Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike." – Maya Angelou God created us for community. Deep down in our souls, we know this. Yet so often when we’re on a healing journey, we think it should be done alone. We choose to hide our struggles from others, try [...]
7 Tips for Building Strong Boundaries in Relationships
The concept of boundaries in relationships is a popular one in counseling and conversation but can be difficult to understand and even more complex to put into practice. In their well-known book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, the acclaimed Christian psychologists and authors define boundaries in their Boundaries Workbook as follows: “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows where you end and someone else begins, leading to a sense of ownership. We must deal with what [...]
How to Practice Forgiveness in Marriage
Forgiveness in marriage is one of the hardest things you need to do in your relationship with your spouse. It may seem impossible to forgive your partner but even more yourself. You need to do it repeatedly for your marriage to be healthy. It is essential if you want to be free from the past and live in peace with your spouse. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but just may be the only thing to making your marriage better. Why Forgiveness in Marriage Matters Forgiveness in marriage is unique because you make a lifelong commitment to your spouse. Since every person [...]