Articles
Personal Development: Can it Happen Through Fallibility?
The Questions Who am I? Where am I headed in life? What is my purpose? How do I change? These are familiar questions we ask ourselves in our quest for personal development and meaning. They can also be some of the most difficult questions to answer. Many of the clients I work with come in for therapy because they are desperately seeking answers to these questions. They are all bright individuals, however like you and I, their efforts to develop a firm sense of direction in life are ongoing. We simply don't know everything, and oftentimes certain matters remain temporarily unclear, for [...]
A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Processing Emotional Pain, Part 3
By Amanda Rowett, MA, LHMCA, Seattle Christian Counseling, PLLC In the second article in this series, I outlined the steps we can take to process emotional pain: observing, acknowledging, expressing, and interpreting. But how should we treat ourselves when we are hurting? How does God see us when we struggle? Why do all the hard work of processing pain? Assume a Compassionate Stance towards Yourself In therapy, I often see clients treat themselves so unkindly in the midst of deep emotional pain and turmoil. They may be critical, judgmental, dismissive, or even harmful towards themselves. Many people don’t even consider how they [...]
A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Processing Emotional Pain, Part 2
By Amanda Rowett, MA, LHMCA, Seattle Christian Counseling, PLLC In my previous article I discussed why people avoid pain. I confronted the negative stereotypes regarding emotions and explored the value of feelings. We learned that emotions are not something to be feared or ignored, but are a gift from God and worth our attention. Once we see our internal experiences as significant, we are better able to engage in the process of healing. In this second article, I discuss how we can process our feelings in order to find clarity in the emotional wilderness. Steps to Processing Emotional Pain: Connecting with [...]
A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Processing Emotional Pain, Part 1
By Amanda Rowett, MA, LHMCA, Seattle Christian Counseling, PLLC Beth sought out therapy to address her struggle with self-hate and negative body image. She tries to compensate for her deep-seated insecurity with perfectionism. However, if her performance or expectations fall short of her ideal, she tells herself: "I am bad … I hate myself … I am stupid." She obsesses and berates herself for her appearance, calling herself "fat and ugly." She casually refers to the cruel comments made by friends regarding her body, yet dismisses her pain saying: "It's not a big deal … I am just too sensitive … I [...]
Hope for People with Anxiety Disorders: A Christian Counselor’s Perspective
By Julie Stroemel, PsyD, Everett Christian Counseling, PLLC What is the difference between a little worry and an anxiety disorder? Most of us experience anxiety at some point in time. Not all anxiety is bad. A little extra focus and concern often helps us to complete projects and assignments on time. In other circumstances, anxiety can help us to take action quickly if the situation is threatening. Anxiety is a response to perceived danger or threat. It is a natural state that can, in moderate degree and frequency, be a useful tool to maintain someone’s safety. However, when a person experiences ongoing [...]
It Was Always About “YOU”: Marriage Communication Strategies From A Christian Counselor
Telling the Deeper Story If marriage is anything, it's relational. But how can couples, like you and your spouse, build a relationship that is intimate and deeply connected? Practicing as a Marriage & Family Therapist has enabled me to see that spouses who have the greatest success in this area are those that have built into their relationship an ability to share their deeper story. I'll explore what this means for your relationship below. Moving Beyond the Superficial I use the phrase, deeper story, to identify a process by which you and your partner can move beyond simply saying you're angry, sad, frustrated, or hurt, and [...]
Why are Personal Boundaries Important?
By Amanda Rowett, MA, LHMCA, Seattle Christian Counseling Proverbs 25:28 "He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down without walls" (NKJT). Proverbs 25:28 paints a picture of someone who lacks control over their lives. In Biblical times, it was necessary for cities to have walls surrounding them for protection. Without protection, cities were vulnerable and defenseless against attacks and became broken-down, with all its valuables stolen. The main message is this: a life without boundaries, can leave us feeling powerless, ransacked and broken. You are feeling burnout? Stress and tired? Is bitterness and resentment [...]