Does Passivity Make Us Good Christians?

The topic of passivity has often been a misunderstood and confusing one, especially for Christians. Many of us have been guilty of confusing humility and servitude with being passive, but the Bible has many good examples of how we should behave. Understanding and addressing this rarely discussed topic can help us find that important balance in engaging with others in a healthy and appropriately assertive manner.

How to Recognize Passivity in Ourselves

A good way to understand whether you are prone to passivity is to evaluate your common reactions to normal, mundane interactions with others. You might be described as passive if you struggle to:

• Maintain eye contact with others when talking.
• Say ‘No’.
• Speak up in group settings.
• Set boundaries for yourself.
• Ignore other people’s opinions of you.

Good Christian attributes like being humble and caring for others’ feelings are important, but it is also important to learn how to strike a balance so that your kindness is not taken advantage of to the extent that it becomes harmful to you.

Allowing yourself to be overly passive can undermine your confidence and sense of self-worth, leading to situations where you’re under the external control of others.

While being considerate is a good thing, suppressing your feelings, thoughts, and emotions may actually result in resentment and pent-up frustration. It is important to find balance and engage with others in a healthy and appropriately assertive manner.

What Makes Us Think We Need to Be Passive?

There are many reasons why we succumb to passivity in our daily lives and find ourselves unwittingly avoiding expressing our feelings or desires, including:

• Avoiding conflict, rejection, or confrontation. This can manifest in various ways and often leads to difficult relationships.
• Believing that our own needs are not worthwhile.
• Growing up in an environment where we saw passivity and fear of expression being exhibited by those around us.

Although it may be normal to defer to others on occasion, it is important to note that it becomes passivity when this behavior is exhibited on a constant or daily basis.

Are Christians Supposed to Be Passive in Nature?

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7, ESV

The Bible has numerous examples of God-fearing, strong, and assertive men and women we can learn from. In fact, it is a part of God’s standard operating procedure to elevate and empower those perceived to be weak or worthless in the eyes of men.

People who were empowered by God include:

David

Consider the well-known story of David and Goliath from the first book of Samuel. David was just a boy, the 8th and youngest son of Jesse. He was a shepherd and wasn’t a celebrated soldier like his brothers, yet that is who God called to defeat the most feared of all the Philistines and even go on to become King of Israel!

When we base our confidence in the Lord and the talents He has given us, it empowers us to stand up for others against any injustices or attacks against them. There are many occasions to stand strong for the reputation of God and the good of those around us.

Esther

Think again about the story of a young orphan girl from a poor Jewish family upon whom God bestowed His favor, raising her and empowering her until she became Queen of one of the most powerful nations of the time, Persia. Not only did Esther’s bravery and assertiveness win her favor, but she also used her influence to save the entire Jewish population from certain death.

Her inspiring story teaches us that we are not called to passivity in the face of those who might wish to destroy us, but we are called to use our God-given wisdom to protect ourselves and others in society.

How Can I Become Less Passive and More Assertive?

If you’ve been reading this article and have identified some of these passivity traits in yourself, don’t lose heart. The good news is that there are sure-fire ways to revamp your personality and passive nature.

Some active things you can do to become more assertive include:

• Start by assessing your style of interaction with others  Be honest with yourself and check if you identify with one, more, or even all of the listed characteristics of passivity. The more passivity you identify, the more you have to work to raise your sense of value and self-worth.
• Make a conscious decision to be aware of your reactions to doing simple everyday activities  Whether you’re buying groceries, standing in a line, or even handling a business deal, make sure you are constantly checking yourself. When you regress to old, passive habits, remind yourself to be polite and kind, but assertive.
• Explore your fears. When you don’t stand up for yourself or struggle to say no to others, it may be because you’re afraid to displease other people. When you’re being passive in a particular situation, ask yourself what you’re really afraid of. Remember, the only way to overcome fear is to first recognize its existence.
• Stop seeking the approval of others at your own expense  Whenever you do things you feel pressured or obliged to do, you place a huge burden on yourself and place unrealistic demands on yourself. Remind yourself of your self-worth all the time.

Write down lists of great things you know about yourself. You might be surprised to find out how long that list can be. By acknowledging and noting down your strengths, you begin to realize that you are worth more than what other people may think of you.

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how will its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father, who is in heaven. – Matthew 5:13-14, ESV

When you let yourself live passively in the shadow of others, you become like that light under a basket. Being a Christian does not require being a doormat or someone else’s punching bag and you can also express your thoughts and needs without belittling or hurting other people.

Get yourself started on the right path to a renewed sense of self-worth by getting involved with a community of people who have experienced and dealt with the challenges you may feel are insurmountable.

Numerous resources are available for those who are ready to start standing up for themselves more effectively. This website can provide resources and access to God-fearing counselors who have not only been trained professionally, but are also called to help guide those who might need a helping hand emotionally and spiritually. Contact our office today.