Articles
4 Ways Fear Steals from You
Part 1 on Fear Fear is a distressing emotion that is caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, evil, painful, or threatening. Fear is basically the belief that something bad is going to happen to you, whether real or perceived. This emotion triggers the body’s fight or flight response, a basic survival mechanism that prepares the body to react to danger. However, the experience of chronic fear is highly debilitating. People who live with chronic fear habitually feel vulnerable and unsafe. They feel little to no sense of security. At the core of a fearful mindset is the [...]
How to Build Trust by Being Vulnerable and Honest
Part 2 of a 2-Part Series Why is Honesty Important in a Relationship Honesty builds trust. Likewise, keeping our word, or living what we say, also builds trust, and trust is the foundation for intimacy in relationships. Lies, deception, and hiding hinders trust and intimacy in relationships. When there is brokenness in a relationship, this is often the result of broken promises. Honestly acknowledging that we broke our word, and contributed to breaking the relationship, is the first step to repairing the brokenness, or being reconciled to the other. In my previous article, I outlined why honesty is so important in [...]
What is Bipolar Mania? Explained and Explored by a Christian Counselor
Most of us have experienced some type of mood swing. For some of us, the extreme emotion may have led us to exclaim: “Wow, where did that come from?” Whether it involves intense anger or sadness, I know for myself that it is when I am driving in traffic on I-405 that I experience some type of intense anger and frustration. Sometimes it can overtake me and lead me to make rash decisions, such as honking at someone or cutting someone off. Mood swings are a natural part of everyday life for every person. We can feel sadness and happiness at [...]
What to Expect from Christian Based Marriage Counseling
As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Seattle Christian Counseling, I occasionally come across married couples who wonder what makes the Christian counseling process unique. Their questions help to foster a rich discussion in which we are able to address what truly sets work with a Christian counselor apart from other forms of treatment that may not hold to this particular framework. This article addresses these differences and aims to provide you with a clear framework for Christian based marriage counseling. A Focus on the Heart and Mind Marriage counseling that is approached from a Christian or biblical framework accounts [...]
10 Tips to Stop Allowing Negative Feedback to Overwhelm You
Part 3: Keys to Your Personal Development Success "To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” ? Aristotle How well do you bounce back from negative feedback? Have you ever come out of a meeting with your boss and felt like a tidal wave just crashed into you? Criticism has become a bad word in our culture and, instead of welcoming it, we avoid it like the plague. However, if you have any aspirations to climb the corporate ladder, you need to know how to effectively handle negative feedback. Success in the workplace has been linked to those who not [...]
4 Steps on How to Receive Negative Feedback for Your Personal Growth Plan
Part 2 of the Series Keys to Your Personal Development Success If we are honest, most of us get panic stricken when we hear the word “review” at work, or when a friend says, "Can we talk?" No one likes to be critiqued. However, negative feedback is crucial for improvement. In my previous article, I discussed six reasons why negative feedback is a positive. Negative feedback buffs out our weaknesses, and sharpens our strengths. Critiques unlock our blind spots and create positive motivation for progress. Through negative feedback we become more resilient and develop a thicker skin. It is a crucial [...]
6 Reasons Why Negative Feedback is Positive
Part 1: Keys to Your Personal Development Success As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion]. (Proverbs 27:17) Let's be honest, constructive criticism is never enjoyable. I think that we would all say we want feedback, but in reality we don't really want to hear it. To hear that we have fallen short of expectations is a blow to our ego. Constructive criticism is defined as an assessment of a person's performance, and usually addresses weaknesses for the purpose of improvement. But, no matter how nicely packaged, feedback just stings. When confronted by our spouse, friend, [...]
The Father in the Fight Against Porn
Part 4 of the How Pornography Affects the Family Series In my previous articles in this series, I discussed the challenges that pornography use presents to today’s families and the crucial role that fathers play in protecting their families from the dangers of pornography. In this article, I continue this discussion and show the important impact that a father has in the lives of his sons and daughters. The Lasting Effects of Pornography Pornography affects the life and the mind of the individual who views it, and for those who are exposed to it at an early age the effects can [...]
Christianity and Its Relevance to Your Marriage
Part 1 of a Series - The Flesh and the Spirit Beginnings This article explores the relevance of Christianity to marriage, and is intended to evaluate different elements of our married lives, but is by no means exhaustive. Furthermore, there is rarely a day that goes by that I am not acutely aware of my own need for God’s grace in my marriage. I am not one of those rare blessed souls, if they exist, who can say that they have handled every spousal disagreement perfectly, or that they are always unselfish and never become frustrated. No, not I. Rather, I [...]