Articles
Healing the Divide: Understanding And Addressing Insecure Attachment
From our youngest years, we have been informed about the danger of talking to strangers. Parents, teachers, and other care-giving adults caution us against the risks of harm that might come from beyond safe circles. However, the myth of stranger danger doesn’t always convey the other side of our experiences with abuse and neglect. Either way can produce insecure attachment. Too often, it is in our own homes and families that we encounter traumatic incidents that shape our childhoods and shift the trajectory of our lives. Wounded, we drag our trauma and its accompanying shame into other experiences and relationships as [...]
Discernment, Discipleship, and Direction: Types of Spiritual Coaching
The spiritual life must not be lived in isolation. It is a call to the community as much as it is the salvation of your soul. Throughout history, people have looked for spiritual guides, and many shared their wisdom in written form. You can receive great benefits from spiritual coaching. The care of your mental health and spiritual health are both important to your overall health. There are many ways to receive spiritual guidance in your life. You may want to find someone to act as a spiritual coach in your life. When you want to reach out to another person [...]
Relationship Advice: Garbage In, Garbage Out
Nearly every day doing counseling I run into people who need relationship advice because of issues they are having. Today, I received a note from a client (that I will paraphrase): I have been in this relationship for almost four years and the communication has not been great at all. I feel like I cannot talk to him. I feel like he manipulates the situation…He lies a lot, and he thinks that I feel like I’m always right, but this is not true, I don’t feel I am always right. It feels like a defense mechanism. I am not an angel [...]
Anticipatory Grief: What It is, Its Signs, and How to Address It
The future is unknown. That’s something that can unsettle you, or it may be something you take easily in your stride. Most of us struggle with what we don’t know or with what we can’t control. That struggle can be heightened if what you’re facing isn’t pleasant and it seems inevitable. People deal with that in various ways, including denying their feelings or facing them head-on. One way of dealing with such situations is through anticipatory grief. More than grieving a loved one before they’re gone. When you love someone, you want them to be a part of your life for [...]
How to Deal with Anger Effectively
When you are facing a volatile situation, there are a variety of approaches you might take to deal with it. Some would rather avoid it altogether than run the risk of danger. Others may be cavalier and take on the danger, possibly hurting themselves and the people around them. Some will approach the circumstance boldly but with caution, carrying an awareness of the dangers involved but not shying away from what needs to be done. All of us face danger and volatility, however one of the most difficult threats we encounter is our own anger. We are forced to reckon with [...]
Strategies for Overcoming Codependency
Codependency can affect your relationships, your work, and your well-being. As much as you want to make a change, sometimes it can feel difficult to do. Implementing strategies to overcome codependency may be challenging, but it is important. Choosing to overcome codependency is worth the effort. As much as it feels easier to stay in the familiar, overcoming codependency leads to healthier relationships and better overall well-being. Even more importantly, overcoming codependency can give you a stronger sense of who you are. This stronger sense of self is more authentically you. The strategies. These strategies are not something to do all [...]
Postpartum Depression: What It Is and How to Treat It
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a disorder that women develop after giving birth. The symptoms can include feeling sad, anxious, and exhausted, making it difficult for the mother to take care of herself and her child. PPD can emerge right after birth but commonly emerges one to three weeks after delivery. Often, women who experience PPD have never experienced another form of depression. A lack of understanding and experience with PPD can be a barrier to seeking help. Because of this, many new moms feel that these symptoms are their fault, or they are weak or inadequate moms. This is not true. [...]
Practical Strategies for Overcoming Anxiety
Pain is a universal experience that we all face at one point or another. It speaks a language that we all come to know and understand. Regardless of the places we’ve been or the people we’ve encountered, our experience of pain informs our lives by shaping our thoughts and behaviors. For some, it produces dysfunction to the extent that it disrupts what God intended for us to experience and distracts from God’s goodness. Yet, God in His faithfulness, has provided the power to overcome and the peace to endure, in the person of Jesus. Without God, it is easy for us [...]
Anger in the Bible: Help and Healing for Anger Issues
If we ask the question, “What does the Bible say about anger?” we might first be thinking about anger as a negative thing, and in many cases, it is. It doesn’t take much to think of an example of sinful anger. But it might be helpful to think of anger as simply one of a range of human emotions. It can be healthy or unhealthy, righteous or sinful, but it can also be redeemed and used by God for good. Human emotions are no stranger to God. He created our capacity to experience them, and Jesus experienced emotions when he walked the [...]