Articles
Relationship Advice For Men: Married Life
There is likely no committed relationship that is as intimate and all-encompassing as marriage. The messaging about marriage is abundant; some of it is helpful, but some of it could undermine your marriage if you take it to heart. As with other areas of life, there’s a need for discernment to sift the messages and take in only what’s helpful. Some Challenges That Come with Married Life You may be on the cusp of getting married, or maybe the thought hasn’t even entered your mind yet. Perhaps you’ve been married for years now. It’s always good to take a look at [...]
Finding Faith After Domestic Violence
Domestic violence occurs in many forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual, and financial. Domestic violence is not a victimless crime; it impacts multiple areas of life and leaves the abused with unresolved emotions. Healing after domestic abuse requires more than time and therapy. For this process, faith becomes the soil in which restoration is rooted. The wounded soul is cultivated back to wholeness through the nutrients provided in this restoration process. These nutrients can consist of God, the Bible, and natural support (supportive friends and family). Faith or the search for faith following such abusive acts is often activated. The experience each [...]
Aging in America: How to Do it God’s Way
Recently, the beautiful wife of actor Dick Van Dyke posted a video of herself and her 96-year-old husband singing and dancing. Prolific actress Betty White passed away at only three weeks short of her 100th birthday. When we look at society, there’s a trend of higher life expectancy and some people may be asking why. Social media fills us with images of intense workout regimes or new diets. Some people swear by Keto, others are vegan or vegetarian. The number of older Americans turning one hundred has more than tripled in 2019 compared to 1980 (according to a 2020 report from [...]
When Someone Else’s Trauma Affects You: Where to Find PTSD Help for Secondary Trauma
We typically think of trauma as something that happens directly to us and that PTSD only happens to those who’ve lived through something terrifying. There’s another kind of trauma that’s harder to understand; one that affects people who spend their time helping, listening, or supporting others through painful experiences. It’s called secondary trauma, and it can leave you feeling drained, anxious, or emotionally raw, even if the trauma wasn’t yours to begin with. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling unsettled or found yourself thinking about someone else’s pain long after they’ve shared it, you’re not imagining things. You [...]
Tips for Dealing with Financial Problems During the Holidays and Beyond
The holiday season often brings warmth, community, and celebration, but it can also create more financial pressure. Between gift-giving, travel, food costs, and social expectations, money can quickly become a source of stress instead of joy. Holiday spending can be tied to deeper emotional patterns, family expectations, and even a desire to prove worth or create the “perfect” Christmas. Let’s face it, most people struggle with finances at some point in their lives. If you are dealing with financial problems, then you know the anguish that can come from financial instability. Staying up at night worrying about your financial future can [...]
How Being a People Pleaser Can Invite Toxic Friendships
Being agreeable sounds like a good thing, right? In fact, as a child, you were probably told to “just get along” with your siblings or to “just go with the flow” during family vacation. Being agreeable can be a good thing and often appears to be humility and love, but for people pleasers, the motive isn’t love at all; it’s fear. People pleasers don’t want to upset anyone, so they say “yes” to everything. They go along with the group plans even when they are uncomfortable. They apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong. Underneath all those yeses and sorries is [...]
No Shame On You
One day, my then-thirteen-year-old daughter and I were playing around. She did something, and I jokingly said, “Shame on you!!” But something in my spirit quickened, and I said, “No! No shame on you! No shame in any of us once we have accepted Christ! Our shame is under the blood!”Many people, even many Christians, deal with guilt and shame. What’s the difference between guilt and shame? I like the way Sheila Walsh explains it in her book 5 Minutes with Jesus: Making Today Matter, “Guilt tells us that we’ve done something wrong; shame tells us that we are something wrong” (p. [...]
Forgiving Others: Why It’s Important to Our Health
People struggle with the concept of forgiveness. The human question, “Why should I even bother to forgive?” is prevalent in our society, and it’s a difficult one. When Jesus told his disciples to forgive 70x7 times, he was commanding them to go against their instinct to hold a grudge. It’s easier to stay angry than it is to forgive, but it’s not better for us. What happens when we forgive? When we forgive, we let go of the resentment or desire for revenge, even though the hurt may remain. Physically, our brain feels more empathy, compassion, and understanding. The amygdala, which [...]
When Anger Leaves a Trail: Steps Toward Confession, Healing, and Empowerment
Many people think Christians never get angry, or if they become angry, they shouldn’t stay angry. Anger is a strong response to something displeasing. Jesus says, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33), meaning there will be struggles during our life’s path. God also says that vengeance belongs to Him (Romans 12:19). God takes on the actionable part of anger because He knows the spiritual, emotional, and physical costs associated with anger. Responses vary depending on the situation and the person, but it’s natural to have some type of response when [...]