Articles
Four Different Types of Attachment Styles in Relationships
Beginnings are important. However, beginnings do not necessarily determine endings. With our lives, our beginnings matter, too. Just like a good story, there can be plot twists that change everything. What this means for us is that even a rough start to our lives does not mean the ending cannot be good and transform the entire experience. We are deeply vulnerable from our earliest days. None of us has a choice about where we are born, or the family and situation into which we are born. Some of us are born or adopted into loving, stable, and nurturing families, while others [...]
How to Cope if You’re a Highly Sensitive Person
Have you ever heard someone say of another person “They’re too sensitive?” Maybe that other person was you, and you found the characterization to be unfair or a little simplistic. It’s common nowadays in popular media and through anecdotes that people share to say that people are more sensitive now than in the past. The truth is that there isn’t any evidence that backs up the claim that people are more sensitive today than in years gone by.What can be said is that in our time, there is both an increased willingness to acknowledge the sensitivities of others, as well as a [...]
Overcoming Anxiety and Insecurity in Your Personal Development Journey
Most humans want to see fruitful outcomes in life. We are created like the Father to want what He wants, though we may express it differently. Despite this abiding desire, life presents boulders that can obstruct not only our view but also disrupt our progress toward the future we’ve envisioned. Personal development can help. Daunted and overwhelmed, we sometimes abandon the pursuit, clouded by discouragement and cluttered by life. Dreams from God often loom larger than what we feel is possible with limited resources. We feel like we lack strength, time, finance, or other human help. Yet, the Holy Spirit pokes [...]
Healing the Divide: Understanding And Addressing Insecure Attachment
From our youngest years, we have been informed about the danger of talking to strangers. Parents, teachers, and other care-giving adults caution us against the risks of harm that might come from beyond safe circles. However, the myth of stranger danger doesn’t always convey the other side of our experiences with abuse and neglect. Either way can produce insecure attachment. Too often, it is in our own homes and families that we encounter traumatic incidents that shape our childhoods and shift the trajectory of our lives. Wounded, we drag our trauma and its accompanying shame into other experiences and relationships as [...]
Discernment, Discipleship, and Direction: Types of Spiritual Coaching
The spiritual life must not be lived in isolation. It is a call to the community as much as it is the salvation of your soul. Throughout history, people have looked for spiritual guides, and many shared their wisdom in written form. You can receive great benefits from spiritual coaching. The care of your mental health and spiritual health are both important to your overall health. There are many ways to receive spiritual guidance in your life. You may want to find someone to act as a spiritual coach in your life. When you want to reach out to another person [...]
Relationship Advice: Garbage In, Garbage Out
Nearly every day doing counseling I run into people who need relationship advice because of issues they are having. Today, I received a note from a client (that I will paraphrase): I have been in this relationship for almost four years and the communication has not been great at all. I feel like I cannot talk to him. I feel like he manipulates the situation…He lies a lot, and he thinks that I feel like I’m always right, but this is not true, I don’t feel I am always right. It feels like a defense mechanism. I am not an angel [...]
Anticipatory Grief: What It is, Its Signs, and How to Address It
The future is unknown. That’s something that can unsettle you, or it may be something you take easily in your stride. Most of us struggle with what we don’t know or with what we can’t control. That struggle can be heightened if what you’re facing isn’t pleasant and it seems inevitable. People deal with that in various ways, including denying their feelings or facing them head-on. One way of dealing with such situations is through anticipatory grief. More than grieving a loved one before they’re gone. When you love someone, you want them to be a part of your life for [...]
How to Deal with Anger Effectively
When you are facing a volatile situation, there are a variety of approaches you might take to deal with it. Some would rather avoid it altogether than run the risk of danger. Others may be cavalier and take on the danger, possibly hurting themselves and the people around them. Some will approach the circumstance boldly but with caution, carrying an awareness of the dangers involved but not shying away from what needs to be done. All of us face danger and volatility, however one of the most difficult threats we encounter is our own anger. We are forced to reckon with [...]
Strategies for Overcoming Codependency
Codependency can affect your relationships, your work, and your well-being. As much as you want to make a change, sometimes it can feel difficult to do. Implementing strategies to overcome codependency may be challenging, but it is important. Choosing to overcome codependency is worth the effort. As much as it feels easier to stay in the familiar, overcoming codependency leads to healthier relationships and better overall well-being. Even more importantly, overcoming codependency can give you a stronger sense of who you are. This stronger sense of self is more authentically you. The strategies. These strategies are not something to do all [...]